Left Behind
by DarkPhoenix484
Summary: [ShinoNaru, shounen ai] Naruto looks in from the outside, on the one who has been left behind.


**Disclaimer: **I do not and will never own any characters from Naruto. They are the possessions of the creator of the series, Kishimoto-_sensei_ and, Jump magazines. I am merely borrowing them for the sake of having something to write on and because I love the characters very much.

**Summary: **ShinoNaru Naruto looks in from the outside, on the one who has been left behind.

**Warnings: **angst and shounen-ai. Gory details. Don't read if it's not your cup of tea.

**Spoilers: **None.

**Rating: **PG-13

**Pairings: **ShinoNaru

**Author's notes: **Err… Yeah, this little piece was supposed to be put up ages ago. I'm sure my Beta (the most resourceful Tomomi-chan) would agree. She finished with the corrections probably a month ago. But I was too lazy to put it up. Well it's finally up. Hope you like it. Many of you wonderful reviewers out there wanted an extension to some of the one-shots. I can't really do multi-chapters very well, but I can always do more one-shots. Well that's all from me. Better get back to studying. This is in Naruto's point-of-view. Enjoy…

* * *

**Left Behind**

He's staring out the window again.

He has been doing this a lot recently. He just sits there, on the sill, and stares at the world outside. I wonder what he sees. On sunny days, I guess there is a lot of hustle and bustle going on outside to entertain him. But on days such as these, when the sky is filled with gray clouds and fog is still settled around the market square even in the afternoon, there is nothing to see. At least, I don't see anything. I wonder if he does.

I have asked him about it - many times, in fact. But he didn't answer. He never answers me anymore. He never even looks up from the damn window anymore. It's like his whole being is surrounded by this desperate need to search for something out there. He looks like he is waiting for something.

It's frustrating. He ignores me as if I am not even there. His eyes look gloomy, empty, and dead. Not like the sparkling crimson they used to be. I used to love gazing at them, always reaching up to remove those obstructing glasses from his dazzling eyes. I remember asking about them once.

"…_I don't like my eyes."_

"_Why?"_

"_They remind me of blood."_

I didn't understand him then. He always spoke cryptically, and I thought this was one of his odd mysteries.

Afterwards I came to know about the unfortunate incident with his mother. When he was three, he had found his mother's bloodstained corpse. Slashed up after a mission, she had been lying alone in the forest when he stumbled on to her by sheer mistake. He had stopped looking at mirrors after that. He would break any mirror he saw his blood red eyes in. They reminded him too much of the cold red surrounding his mother's dead body. That's why he started wearing his father's glasses.

But now, his eyes are free of their usual restraint. I can gaze into those mesmerizing eyes all I want. But they don't look at me anymore. They are focused on the window and just there. Sometimes I wonder if he has gone crazy. We always used to think that he was the oddball in our group. He never talked, he never smiled, he never did anything us normal kids did. Well, as normal as ninjas could be in a hidden village. I remember dragging him to one of the carnivals that took place in the town near Konoha. He grumbled all the way, quietly, almost inaudibly. But grumble he did. He didn't complain though, when we played all the games – catching the goldfishes, ringing items blindfolded, eating in the eating contest. The best part was the fireworks.

_The sky was splashed with color. My awe and amazement was clearly visible on my face as I gazed at the mesmerizing display. I'm sure my mouth was wide open and my eyes at least twice as big as they usually are. I didn't want to tear my eyes away from the sky lest I missed something. His arms came around me, closing around my shoulders and holding me securely against his chest. I leaned back, my head resting under his chin as he also gazed up at the display. I couldn't help myself then; I tore my eyes from the blazing fireworks and looked up. _

_The smile he wore was more dazzling than the dancing display in the sky above. _

That was the first time I've seen him smile so contently. He usually just smirks slightly, or quirks his lips up, to show amusement—never that gentle smile, full of contentment. He hasn't smiled like that since.

He doesn't smile anymore either.

I reach for him again, trying to soothe his worries. I try to pour my love out to him. I want to distract him from that god-awful window. But he doesn't respond. No. He watches, motionless. But he doesn't acknowledge.

I remember when it all started. I remember when he still used to look into my eyes and call them the most beautiful blue he had ever seen. And I also remember when his eyes, his blood red, _beautiful_ eyes shuttered in pain and became empty.

We were on a mission. After that, nothing was ever the same.

_The trees were swaying and whispering with the knowledge of hidden dangers in the forest. The darkness gathered in their branches and fought against the penetrating light of the moon. The darkness swallowed us, hiding us in the shadows of the darkened trees. _

_They had still not noticed our presence. _

_The mission seemed simple enough. The target was assigned to us by some rich noble of the Fire Country; something to do with one dispute or another. The mission was to follow the target and find an opportune time to strike. Seek and kill. Simple enough to be appropriately assigned as a B-class mission, regardless of the purpose of the mission. Assassinations are usually designated as A and given to Jounins or Anbu. _

_We were just chunnins. _

_The team was simple and light. Shikamaru led us: us being Kiba, Chouji, me and him. Him – Shino. It wasn't his mission to come. He wasn't assigned to this mission. He had four days off. But he decided to come anyway. I teased him. I called him a work-a-holic. He didn't react. I said that he came because of me, like a knight in shining armor. He just looked at me. _

_Then he smirked and took my hand in his. He fell to one knee and kissing my hand said:_

"_All for my fair lady." _

_And what did I do? I blushed of course. And sputtered. I was embarrassed. Kiba was howling with laughter and Shikamaru was smirking amusedly. Chouji just smiled and dug into his chips. He rose back up, his face back to being emotionless but his eyes glinting mischief. _

_I hit his shoulder lightly, still very embarrassed, and stalked away. His eyes followed me. _

That was the day we got our mission and Shino decided to accompany us - the day before we left to accomplish our goal.

That was the last time we laughed.

_The targets were moving from the Fire Country to the Water. They were moving slowly, trying to hide the fact that they were leaving. They traveled under the cover of the forest. But that didn't help them. Not from us. Forests were our forts. This was where we were the strongest. _

_They still hadn't noticed that we had been following them for about three hours now. _

_Shikamaru signaled everyone to be quiet and to proceed with caution. He seemed agitated with something. He kept looking around as if waiting for something to happen. _

_It was good that we have him as our leader. _

_Shino stood quietly on the branch towards my right. His eyes focused on the targets. He was always focused during missions. I always loved his determination and his fighting style. Although, I must say, I don't like all those bugs. It constantly felt like they are staring at us when I'm usually with him. _

_I shook myself from my thoughts and glanced towards the ground, where Kiba, Akamaru and Chouji were keeping vigil on the targets. _

_Shikamaru made a slight noise. Not loud enough to alert the people resting on the edge of the clearing, but enough to alert us. We looked at him, watching him hesitate and then he gave the signal. _

_Go out for the kill. _

_Without further ado, we went ahead with the plan. Kiba and Akamaru were to distract the innocents, while the rest of us killed the others. _

_We were not expecting the targets to have hired Jounins to protect them._

_The mist ninjas surrounded us and we fought. We fought for all our worth. If we gave them the slightest bit of slack, they would easily pick and kill us. _

_I fought with a wide, burly man. We exchanged blows and cut each other. _

_Shikamaru gave the signal to escape. Abort mission._

_I managed to throw the burly ninja off by throwing sand in his eyes. But I couldn't leave just yet. Shino was still fighting. Shino was one of those people who fought with pride. He wouldn't abort the mission without at least wounding the guy he was fighting. And he did. He slashed a long cut on the ninja's arm before throwing him off and bounding towards me. However, he did not see another ninja coming from behind the one he fell. I did. _

_And I took the knife that was meant for him. _

I don't remember much of what happened after that. I just remember a lot of bright light and then opening my eyes in a hospital bed. Shino was there, sitting beside the bed, but he wouldn't look up when I called to him. I called him, but he didn't hear me. He didn't answer me.

He hasn't answered me since then.

I look at him from my perch behind him. I raise my hand and extend it, meaning to touch him. I hesitate and think better of it. I lower my hand and just call out his name softly, as I have done many times since that day, a week ago.

And like all those times, he doesn't answer me. He doesn't look up from his inspection out the window. He leans forward on to the glass, his spiky hair bumping slightly against the cold glass, his breath fogging the window slightly. His voice, heavy and scratchy with disuse, rose in the silence of the room, calling out one heart-filled word:

"Naruto."

My eyes water as I gaze upon him. I look at the window too. I don't look out the window, however. Rather, I look into the window. I see his glazed eyes in his reflection. They are filled with pain and sorrow. I'm sure mine are too. I look up further, from behind his shoulder, to where my reflection should be.

Only, it's not there.

Why should it be?

After all …

I'm dead.

The End


End file.
